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Feb 22, 2015
dear heart, what should i do?
I met a wonderful man who treats me like i'm the single precious pearl on his palm, he pays attention to everything i say and do and shamelessly performs very cheesy and loving acts in public to take care of me. Last night we finally kissed, and I know that was coming because every night we were getting closer. We held hands for the first time last night walking all over the city and through insane crowds. I've never held hands this long with a guy before. He also gave me incredible, extensive shoulder and back massages, hands and legs acupoint massages, for the past 3 nights in a row. He is due to return to Msia end of next month, he said to me, 我舍不得你,怎么办?... I am afraid of falling in love with him, and then having to lose him. I'm afraid of him falling in love with me, sticking with me, and then having to ultimately face up to the fact he's not really in the same social status as me if i were to return to msia, im not sure my dad would accept him, and i need him to pick himself up...

he is aimless at the moment with no stable job, he is mature and thoughtful but i dont know if he only cares about little, near-future things and not big things and having big goals. I don't know, I suppose since he's been through a lot he needs time out to figure it all out. I really .... He's the nicest guy I've ever met. He treats me so incredibly well. I don't know what to think, my heart already accepted him as a dear lover but my brain is saying stop, wait, don't go into this, it's too early.

i dont feel that he is particularly attractive, but his presence somehow makes me feel comfortable and safe. He is kind-looking. He is not intimidating, yet he is strong enough for me. I don't need big guns like ivan has. I'm afraid his thinking is too simplistic. He appears to have not done well in school. I'm afraid that intellectually, we can't connect. I converse this well in English and he barely strings a sentence together. He speaks Mando and Canto and my confidence in those isn't high. I don't think he enjoys the same music, genre, film, any kind of entertainment stuff that I do. He has met my old housemates and did well mixing in but not the rest yet.

i guess the biggest problem is that he's leaving soon. Should we do a long-distance relationship? Should we break this off, and see what happens a year after? Should I ...?


Posted at 07:12 am by yinnie

 

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